My Analogy for Depression

It can be hard to fully get across what depression really feels like to live with – it’s hard enough that you have to live through it without dealing with being misunderstood.

Having suffered with depression from a very young age, along with anxiety, I have managed to come up with my own ways of describing it to others in the hopes of being better understood. No one can see my depression, but it is there every day, even on the days I am smiling.

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I originally posted this in 2013 on my personal blog, Il Se Interiore, and decided to edit and repost here for #timetotalkday2019. But whenever it is that you are reading this I hope it helps in some way!

There are more people living with depression than you think

As one of the most common mental disorders all across the world, depression is pretty much everywhere. But the worst part about it is that unless you’ve fully suffered from chronic depression, you will probably never truly appreciate how hard it is and you will likely never understand it. Even those who do suffer from chronic depression don’t understand it – which makes it even more difficult to tackle.

So I thought I would attempt to explain it in a different way, hopefully in a way that will help people to understand!

Living with depression is like being stranded in the middle of the ocean

There are no islands, boats or birds around you. You are completely alone, and you are struggling to keep your head above water.

Each day it gets harder and harder, and you get more and more tired. The easy way out would just be to give up and drown – but you can’t do that, you have too many people in your life who are counting on you. You need to keep going. You are just trying to float in the hope that one day a boat will come and save you, and take you away to a new life.

Some days it’s easier – maybe a bit of wood drifts past for you to hold onto, or you get a sudden burst of energy. However it’s not long before you lose grip and that piece of wood drifts off into the distance again.

Depression is a huge battle in your brain. It’s demobilising, it’s humiliating, and it’s extremely difficult to just get out of. It takes an unbelievable amount of work – and it involves fighting every day for the rest of your life.

But depression doesn’t always act alone

And then there’s depressions good friend, anxiety. Depression and anxiety are a cruel tag team – they feed off each other, and back each other up. When depression is having a day off, anxiety is there ready to take over, and vice versa.

Remember that time you realised you left your phone in the taxi or the supermarket? Or when you tripped over in front of a room full of people? That kind of powerful anxiety eats up people like me. And it is there every day, every hour, every second.

During my worst year of Uni I suffered from this kind of anxiety so badly that I couldn’t even leave the house to go to my lectures – it caused panic attacks, nausea and headaches. So those people out there who think it’s ‘all in our heads’ I can categorically tell you it isn’t!

Anxiety is a part of life

People get anxious, and self conscious, and just plain worried on a daily basis. It’s actually a part of life. I don’t think anyone can safely say they have never experienced the feeling of anxiety, but when it starts to take over your whole life it is a serious problem.

It stops you from doing things that ‘normal’ people wouldn’t think twice about – at one point I lost touch with all of my closest friends because I was too anxious to even leave my bedroom. And when you work up the courage to actually do these the things that make you anxious it is a massive struggle, often leaving you feeling pretty empty afterwards, especially if it doesn’t go well.

There is no cure

I hope this has made things a little bit clearer, and helped to explain what depression really feels like. It’s such a complicated issue, but it’s something that I hold very close to my heart. There aren’t many treatments for depression, there is no sole cause, and there is certainly no cure. But if you do want to do your little bit to help – stop using the word ‘depressed’ to describe feelings of sadness, it really hurts…

If you’re interested in learning more about depression, then feel free to read all about the things that depression makes difficult.

If you ever need someone to talk to about mental health, I want you to know that I am always here for you. My email is info[at]philippaclaire[dot]com. And don’t forget there are also great charities on hand like Mental Health and Mind who are there to help us!

And rememeber, it’s okay not to be okay!