My Journey to Fitness: Part 5

My apologies for the delay in posting this, my fifth installment of the Journey to Fitness series.

In all honesty, I’ve been putting this off because I’ve not had a great month. My mental health hasn’t been great, I’m completely exhausted, and I have been feeling extremely NOT positive about my body.

This whole journey is not meant to be about getting thin and losing weight. It’s supposed to be about loving and appreciating my body no matter what it looks like, and encouraging others to feel the same way. But with the weather getting warmer, and being too tired to actually exercise, as well as feeling generally down, it’s been basically impossible.

Everywhere I look at the moment there are people enjoying themselves wearing their best summer clothes, showing their flesh, and just living their best lives. I feel like a sweaty, hot blob compared to everyone else right now, and that’s not just because of my size. Summer is my least favourite season simply because I am more comfortable in baggy, warm clothes, and layers.

I like cardigans, and jackets. Wearing jeans, or skirts with leggings. All of these are things I’ve not been able to wear very much this last month (apart from in my office building because it’s freezing!).

I am not going to let that hold me back though. I’ve had a bad month. We all have days, weeks, months, of just feeling crap. The most important part of this journey is to just keep going.

So, this is what I’ve been doing the last month to try and keep myself going!

Giving myself a break.

I was doing really well with exercising almost daily before June hit. I started doing the NHS stretch and flex podcast a few times a week and got up to their week three workout. I was also doing yoga on my off days, normally for about 30 minutes.

It was amazing, I was doing so much and my body was feeling stronger.

But my energy levels took a huge dip and I have had to take a step back. For about two weeks I was only exercising every now and then because my body just couldn’t take it. I’m slowing getting back into it now, and have done yoga every day this week. I still can’t do more than about 15 minutes of light yoga a day but I keep telling myself some is better than none!

I’ve just had to learn to give myself a break.

Because of my ME I have to be sensible. When my body is fatigued it needs to be rested. Some days a full on workout routine isn’t possible, and that’s okay – I can just do a relaxing one instead.

I’m learning to be a bit nicer to myself, not to be so tough on myself, and just be grateful for what my body CAN give me, not what it can’t.

STOP COMPARING!

I spend basically all of my time looking at other women; what they’re wearing, what size they are, how they have their hair. And as such I spend a lot of my time longing to look like anyone else but myself.

I think a lot of people do this, it’s just something that gets ingrained into us from a young age – and social media doesn’t help.

But it doesn’t help. It does no good at all. All comparing really does is make you feel awful about yourself.

What I am trying to do now is just appreciate other people around me, and to catch myself comparing before I can spiral into something more.

If I start thinking ‘she looks nice, she’s so thin, I wish I was so thin’, I try to stop myself. I tell myself that although she does look nice, and she is thin, she is not me. I am me, and that’s good. AND I am the ONLY me there is.

It doesn’t always work, but I am really trying to just be happy for others, maybe take some ideas away from their individual style, and just be happy being myself.

Beauty Routine.

This one isn’t really related to fitness but I do think it is important for my body.

I never really used to take care of my body, I have dry skin, I sweat a lot, and I kind of just left it at that.

Now I am trying to really take care of my skin, and treat it the way it should be. I moisturise, especially my face, almost daily. I use toner, face masks, hair masks, cleanser, the lot! My beauty routine is not perfect, or complicated. It’s simple, easy, and works for me.

The most important thing about it is simply that I feel more confident. My skin is better, it looks and feels amazing. When you’re feeling bad about your body it’s good to have one thing that you’re happy with, and now my skin is one of them.

It’s also great to spend a little bit of time to pamper yourself, even if it’s only a couple of minutes a day.

Eat less, but healthily.

As someone who has suffered with eating disorders in the past, the one thing I have been avoiding is eating less. It’s just one step too close to calorie counting and avoiding meals altogether, and it sends warning signals off in my brain!

One problem I have had for a very long time is that I do eat too much. I eat way more than one person is meant to for dinner, pretty much every day, and go to bed feeling completely stuffed.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that every now and then, but when you do it every day it’s no wonder I’ve gained so much weight!

I have already been quite successful in reducing the amount of junk I eat, so this seems like the next thing to try and tackle.

DON’T WORRY I still have three meals a day, and my breakfast and lunch haven’t changed. I’ve just cut down on the amount I eat for my evening meal, down to the size of a normal human being! And I am still totally up for treating myself, just not every. single. day.

Stay Positive.

I’ve tried to take some positives out of the last month, instead of focusing on the negative. I have had a crappy month but I have learned so much about what my body can and can’t do, and how to appreciate the things I have around me instead of wishing I was different.

Don’t get me wrong, I have so many ‘WHY’ moments, where I just don’t want to go on fighting, and feel like life is completely out to get me. I don’t think I’ll ever be free of those days. I am just trying to make the most of the good days and the good things too!

How is your fitness journey going? Have you learned anything new about your body this month? Feel free to leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you!

And if you want to catch up on my fitness journey, the first four parts can be found here.